TERMS OF USE
Hi! It is TV A La Carte (a.k.a. "the Service", "we", "us", "the royal we", "Web site")! And you, the "User" ("you"), you're the one with the remote. Before you change the channel, please read through the Terms of Use. We promise to make this User Agreement more entertaining than most of your regular scheduled programming.
(1) ACCEPTANCE OF THE USER AGREEMENT
Please record the following to your DVR (or, at minimum, read) this "User Agreement" before using our Service. By continuing to use TV A La Carte, you agree to abide by the terms and conditions of this User Agreement. The law is no laughing matter. But we hope that you are endowed with the six senses... you know, the sense of sight, sense of sound, sense of touch, sense of taste, sense of smell, and obviously, the sense of humor. The sense of humor might not be a prerequisite to using this site, but it certainly would increase your enjoyment.
(2) MODIFICATIONS TO THIS USER AGREEMENT
We reserve the right to change, modify, wordsmith, augment, tweak, accessorize, nip & tuck the terms of this User Agreement or any characteristics of this Service at any time (even after sundown!) without notice. And you agree to be bound by such changes. Any changes to this User Agreement shall become a part of this User Agreement and shall apply as soon as they are posted to the web site. The most current version of the User Agreement can be viewed at any time at
TVALaCarte.org/terms. (If you can't locate them there, please give us a shout because our host servers must be down. Hey, what are you doing reading this if our servers are down?)
(3) CONTENT
All text, files, images, photos, video, or other materials ("Content") posted on, transmitted through, or linked from the Service, are the property of TV A LaCarte, unless otherwise noted. We do not make any warranties or representations regarding the accuracy, comprehensiveness, timeliness, or "kosherness" of the Content. The Content is provided for entertainment purposes only. (The only exception is this User Agreement which is serious... deadly serious!) If you rely on this Service, you do so solely at your own risk.
Content available through the Service may contain links to other websites, which are completely independent of TV A La Carte. We make no representation or warranty as to the accuracy, completeness or authenticity of the information contained in any such site. Your linking to any other websites is at your own risk, much like bungee jumping or skydiving.
(4) COPYRIGHT & COPYLEFT
TV A La Carte respects your intellectual property and likewise, we appreciate that you respect our intellectual property. The Service is protected to the maximum extent permitted by copyright laws and international treaties.
TV A La Carte permits you to selectively display on your Web site, or create a hyperlink on your Web site to individual Content for your personal, non-commercial use or records, provided that any marks, logos or other legends that appear on the copied material persist and you provide a citation with a hyperlink to the original material. If the number of of such postings displayed or linked to on your web site exceeds nineteen (19), your use will be presumed to be in violation of the User Agreement absent express permission granted by TV A La Carte.
And, we are big fans of Lawrence Lessig and the Copyleft movement. "All Rights Reversed"... now that is not only funny but progressive. We will further explore the Copyleft structure to evaluate whether appropriate to modify our User Agreement.
(5) PRIVACY
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Shakespeare, William, "Romeo and Juliet" (II, ii, 1-2)
But your name does matter. And so does your email address or else we wouldn't be able to start this movement.
Although we dislike certain channels (Oxygen), nothing is as terrible as spam. We hate spam. And we mean HATE spam. TV A La Carte may share your personal information for the purpose of delivering our e-mail to you or as required by law.
To make future improvements to our Service and create a more customized experience, we may solicit non-personally identifiable information (e.g., demographic data); though the User will have full discretion. We may selectively share this information with others (e.g., potential advertisers, prospective cable providers) in aggregate, anonymous form.
(6) INDEMNIFICATION AND LIMITS OF LIABILITY
You agree to defend, indemnify and hold harmless TV A La Carte and team, including agents, sponsors, advertisers, affiliates, successors, future offspring, the twinkle in his father's eye, and his sperm from any liability to any party (a) for any consequential or incidental damages of any kind, including, without limitation, lost or foregone revenue, adversely impacted business, loss of data, arising from the use of, reliance on, or metaphysical use of the web site, email or other content; or (b) for any claim attributable to the errors, omissions, and even boners in this web site. Any claim against us shall be limited to the amount you paid, if any, for use of this Service. This defense and indemnification obligation will survive any termination of this Agreement or your access to the Services.
(7) CONCLUSION
This Agreement shall be governed by the Federal laws of the United States and laws of the State of California, applicable to agreements made and to be performed therein without regard to conflict of laws principles. By continuing to use this Service, you agree to abide by the Terms and Conditions of this User Agreement.
(8) ADDENDUM
May the light in you reflect the light in me. Namaste!
We now return you to your regular scheduled programming.